For years, Selema Masekela kept his distance from his father, legendary South African musician Hugh Masekela, as he watched the man he loved battle addiction.
The relationship between father and son became so strained that Selema, speaking on One54Africa, recalled a period in his life when he believed he would be better off grieving his father than continuing to watch him struggle.
Masekela, who died in 2018 aged 78, was one of SA’s most celebrated musicians and an internationally acclaimed trumpeter, singer and composer.
His career spanned decades and saw him become an important voice against apartheid, with songs such as Stimela becoming synonymous with the experiences of South African migrant workers and the country’s painful history.
When addiction changed everything
But behind the celebrated musician was a father whose personal struggles deeply affected his relationship with his son.
Selema said his father’s addiction had become so severe that, during his mid-20s, he stopped engaging with him altogether.
“Because what he was going through with his addiction was so bad that I was like, let me just have this man be dead so that when he dies, I’ve already got a head start. So, for like five years, from when I was 25 to 30, I just didn’t f*** with him at all.”
The distance between them lasted for about five years before Selema’s uncle intervened.
The extraordinary intervention
According to Selema, his uncle arranged for Hugh to be taken to London for rehabilitation, removing him from the environment in which he had been struggling with addiction.
“My uncle had him kidnapped in SA,” Selema said..
“My uncle had him, passport, bare feet, took his a** to London, put him in someplace that one of the Beatles owned, like way out in the country to get rehabilitation.”
The unusual intervention ultimately became a turning point in Masekela’s life.
Selema explained that the rehabilitation facility gave his father little opportunity to rely on the charisma and brilliance that had helped him navigate difficult situations throughout his life.
“My father couldn’t handle or wasn’t interested in being fixed. He could smell it, you know? And he was also brilliant and charismatic, et cetera, so he could bull**** his way. And this was a place where he just finally had to deal with it.”
The icon eventually overcame his addiction, but his recovery initially left Selema conflicted.
Having experienced his father’s struggles repeatedly, Selema had prepared himself for another relapse and found himself almost angry when Hugh succeeded.
“And then he got right. And I was mad that he got right. I was mad because I had dealt with it a few times before. And so I’m like, you know, what’s the outcome going to be? He’s just going to come back out and beat up again. And then he did it. He beat it. Like, he got himself right.”
Finding each other again
After years apart, father and son finally came face to face again in New York.
Selema remembered knocking on his father’s hotel-room door, unsure of who he would find on the other side after five years without seeing him.
But instead of reopening old wounds, they found their way back to the relationship they had once shared.
“I remember the first time I went to see him in New York after he’d been out, knocking on the hotel room door, and I was just like, who are you going to get?
“I haven’t seen this man in like five years. And he was his old self. We sat down and started talking, and we didn’t get into the nuances of our apologies. We just picked back up from our good. And then we started forging a new thing.”
What followed was more than a reconciliation. Over time, the father and son rebuilt their relationship and confronted the things that had driven them apart.
For Selema, the man he had once struggled to connect with eventually became one of the most important people in his life.
From estrangement to best friends
“My dad became my best friend on earth,” he said.
Their relationship also took on a new dimension as Selema pursued his own career and identity. Hugh was no longer simply the world-famous musician whose shadow Selema had grown up under. He became his son’s supporter, proud of what he was achieving and present for the moments that mattered.
Selema described himself as his father’s biggest fan, remembering the extraordinary effect Hugh could have on an audience whenever he performed.
“Watching my father on stage was, he was from the beyond in what he was capable of doing in the storytelling and like stealing people’s souls. I used to say that, like, oh, we’re going to go watch my father kidnap people’s spirits tonight.”
For a man who had once felt compelled to distance himself from his father, seeing Masekela eventually become his biggest supporter was deeply meaningful.
IOL
